Whale Watching

The Spanish whale is a co worker that I have the pleasure of dealing with every day of my life. She eats everything in sight, she blows the bathroom up at least 3 times a day, and she is the most ghetto person I have ever met in my life.
I have no problem with any one who chooses to eat food that clogs their arteries and adds cellulite to their ass. I do however, have a problem with people who eat their fattening food the same way a hyena does. When you have to gasp for air when eating a bag of potato chips (at 8am) their is a problem. When she drinks her soda (also at 8 a.m) it sounds like someone is standing behind me dumping a gallon of water down a drain. You can hear the liquid draining from the bottle, and in to her fat disgusting stomach.
Around 10 a.m after the Spanish whale has consumed approximately 3,000 calories she goes in to the bathroom and destroys it, but she doesn't stop there. Once she drops her atomic grease bomb, she then sprays a massive amount of dollar store air freshener to cover up the stench. Now I don't know about you all, but in my opinion the only thing worse then the smell of shit is the smell of shit and flowers. This is something that happens at least 3 times a day. After inhaling that all day my mouth tastes like a sewage plant inside of a Yankee candle store by the time I leave work.
As if it couldn't get any worse, I also have to deal with her wonderful vocabulary. This extensive vocabulary includes words such as: Drunkaholic,Lookted,Hurted,Drinkted and Dooved just to name a few. As I update you all on the whales status I will make sure that there is a "Whale Word of the day" I encourage you all to post a sentence using the "whale word of the day."
I am not a mean person, I would give the shirt off my back for anyone. However, the Spanish whale is a lazy sack of shit. In my opinion she does not know how to do her job and she is taking a job away from someone who deserves it. She has been at this job for 7 months and march was when she began working full work weeks. Before that, she called out once a week. I have had enough and It's time the word knows about the new species I've discovered, The Spanish Whale.